07 October 2006
I am, of course, referring to "khakis." Rhymes with "tacky." Not coincidental, I'm sure. I find it demoralizing simply to contemplate putting on a pair of khakis right now. They sap my lifeforce. And, not to get all white-shoe on anybody's ass, but they're appropriate only for a very limited (fortunately!!) sartorial window: any time in May until the weekend after Labor Day. This opinion, of course, is greatly influenced by the fact that in Wisconsin there are only about 14 days of the year, at most, that can legitimately be described as "hot." Khakis are absurd in March--too light--in character and hue; they're laughable in fall--for the same reason; unthinkable in winter. I believe darker trousers are much more suitable the shorter the days and the brisker the weather. I'll be blunt: in cold or even cool weather, khakis are bumptious. Khakis were invented for a hot, no! make that tropical environment. Inappropriate khaki usage can bring down an entire workforce. It bleeds away the self-esteem and acts as a blockage to know one looks ridiculous.